NO Choice….but SURRENDER

SO have been thinking of writing, for days… But God. When you look around and observe, the random craziness. Do YOU EVER think, it is NOT random? Or, is THAT just ME?!?! Because, as I sit back, and take stock, I keep receiving THIS….

THERE is ONLY 1 Choice. IT will always remain, and cannot be taken away. Surrender. Because surrender, is about 100% of you, even the little crumbs that fight it…giving GOD His way. Let’s break down the word. Sur, means over and above. And RENDER means to provide, give or make.

So SURRENDER together, means to GIVE to ABOVE. THIS is why, it IS the greatest gift, WE can give to JESUS. And boy, SURRENDER takes such courage. It is NOT a one time deal. It is an EVERY single breath, every single STEP, Every moment, EVERY Day deal. And the fact IS, without IT Life is…pointless.

I want to be clear. Everyone has purpose. However, If you are surrendering to this world, it’s like eating a spec of dust. THERE are no nutrients, that will fulfill a child of GOD, except heavenly nutrients. GOD can and WILL Use every thing ( and one) for His plans. However, know THIS…the LONGER you wait 2 SURRENDER in FULL, and EMBRACE the plans of heaven, the more havoc…you are likely to encounter. Learned THIS the hard way. And even at times, when Jesus wanted to “soften the blow,” I OFTEN naturally rejected it. Not even getting into, what Supernaturalloy often appeared.

So what is the story of heaven? WELL, the main character is JESUS. And, HE opitimizes surrender. HE IS SURRENDER. SO when people ask, “How do I surrender?” The simplest answer is, “GIVE GOd His way.” And , when ANY ONE questions, what THAT way IS… DO not believe the lie, that… IT doubts GOD. Because, kiddos, THAT is a TRAP!!!!!!!! And when people don’t “feel” it….they frequently think they are not “doing” it. However, emotions are ONLY part of our makeup. And feelings, are the tool that can be most deceptive.

IN SHORT, or LONG. Whose STORY do YOU DESIRE MOST? This is meant to REALLY cause US to STOP and THINK. Yesterday, someone dear shared, the battle is won, in the mind. And…though I do NOT dispute that… it is MISSING a component. The heart. Where is your heart? Gonna be VERY transparent, and share this. My heart hovers around BROKENNESS. Yet, from Heaven’s VANTAGE point, I have NEVER EVER been more WHOLE.

I recall even as a kid, hearing phrases in films, church, on the radio, etc… They just sorta STUCK with ME. You know WHY? Because from the moment, of first breath, JESUS was planted with ME. To be Frank, and go Deeper, in this beautiful ocean. He arrived with ME, even before I knew HIM. I was LIVING a “Never ” ending Story, for… FOREVER it SEEMS. And ONE Day, it was not my mind, that opened up to that. In fact, MY mind, couldn’t even GRAsp it. It was and IS 100% unequivocally MY HEART.

I shared something, on CAMERA, that to be REEL….I did not Want to. Or at least part of ME, did NOT. Let me clarify, THERE are PIECES of the PUZZLE, that is YOUR JOURNEY. It is YOURS because HEAVEN placed it in YOUR Kingdom. And THAT Kingdom, is one that JESUS is also 100% sovereign over. FOR He is OVER ALL THINGS. His power is CEASELESS, and fighting this power, creates. I was searching for the word, to END that snetence. And, I only heard CREATEs. HIS power CREATES.

MANY in this TIME around US, are to be BLUNT, giving CREDIT, where it is NOT DUE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again, a TRAP. That, is micimicked,and often attempted to BE manipulated…. from the other side, to infect YOUR peace, that is YOUR birth right. By the Grace of GOD. YOU have a choice, WILL YOU…choose to SEE, even the HORRIBLE to experience the BEAUTIFUL?

I am NOT Gonna SAY, It is EASY, or a PEACE of cake. Because, well, THat is a LIE. There are days, it Feels, like a HOSE of Nastiness and YUCK, is pointed directly TOWARDS YOU, and those YOU LOVE. SOmetimes, that HOSE is in the hands, of the torementor, other times, it is rationed out. Meaning this, WE are taught to UNITE and delegate. SO, why would we EVER believe that others, who are CHOSEN to stand AGAINST Heaven…would not adapt similar strategies? The answer, because GOD is merciful. He knows, exactly the AMOUNT, each KID can handle. And wanna know something funny? It is WAY more, than WE can EVER Imagine of FATHOM. But, IT MUST and I cannot STRESS that ENOUGH…. MUST be SURRENDER to JESUS, and nothing and NO ONE ELSE.

And if NOT…God Help you. Especially right NOW. I woke up from a dream today. My body felt like a nightmare. #LIFEISINTERCESSION. BUt, what REALLY Jumped out to me, was NOT THAT part. What jumped out at ME is this. There is a place in the LIFE book, I believe in Samuel. It discusses, the CHOIR, going out on the battle field, and thanking and praising GOD. In THIS Horrendous BATTLE, MANY are preparing for um, CONSTANT fighting. They have BEEN in battle mode, so long…that REST to be Frank, eludes them.

IS this you? Is THIS Me? THIS is US. Heaven’s Family. Have you ever looked at something, been 100% certain of it, and then…the next day…or even same day. Suddenly, you wonder IF You are Wrong? WELL<<<<<<<<< Hear THIS Then. JESUS is NEVER Wrong. When you begin to RECEIVE THAT FACT, then any pride, questions, doubts, etc…will fall to the GROUND. For me, especially as a young child, I was in constant DEFENSE MODE. It is still a garment, I HAVE to surrender. OR, I will naturally pick it UP again. I will stop being able to RECEIVE the GOOD in FULL. Because my WILL, will conFLICT with Heaven.

People have TOLD me for YEARS. “YOU are TOO DEEP. ” They have said, “I can’t handle YOU. They have said, IF I walk away from you, please go on. And, so MANY more soul and spirit CRUSHING statements. THERE was a time, I was so consumed, by the effect of those SEEDS in LIFE. IT STILL TAKES JESUS, to NOT only reject the negative, but CHOOSE JOY in EVERYTHING. And yes, days come, where I want to quit. Where THERE is GRACE to friggin’ just shatter….

THERE is NOT ONE DAY, and THERE will LIKELY NOT EVER BE…for ME, that does NOT REQUIRE FULL SURRENDER. How bout you?!?! If you were to give a percentage, of surrender, what would it BE? 10%, 5% 25% 75%?!?!? I asked JESUS once, how do we FULLY Surrender? He said, LEARN about HOME, and let ME teach YOU. I AM NEVER LIMITED, EVEN When it APPEARS I AM. LIMIT is NOT a NEED for ME. Because, I never CROSS the LINE, except in RESCUE. and even THEN, it is ALWAYS from LOVE.

I THINK it is comical, and wonderful, the WAYS of HEAVEN. AT THIS place in existence, I LAUGH and ENJOY LIFE, More than EVER!!!!!!!! And That is ONLY By God’s GRACE. Becuase, when I reflect on the “missteps, and mishaps, and what I SAW as mistakes, without JESUS, I LOSE ME. How is a child tricked? God there with me. What tactics are used, to coerse a kid? Well, it is VERY simple really. Go to the Garden of EDEN, and examine, the strategy. The one, that was around, before the crucifixtion. IT WAS manipulation, that was the ROOT of that enticement. It was, in that case, both mind manipulation and heart. Because, contrary to popular believes. Jesus and the Heavenly Father, and the Holy Spirit, created everything within US, to flow and function together. So the question becomes, “why does it not, naturally do that?” And the answer is , ONLY Heaven knows. BUt what the children must learn, is this; only Heaven can “control, restore, fix, heal, and bring FORTH NEW LIFE. At least the kind of LIFE, that brings Freedom. And that Because Heaven wrote the story, there will appear to be UNEXPECTED Grace, that arises for EVERY ONE. Yes, you heard RIGHT, Every ONE. Because He died, for EVERYONE. Even THOSE who seem ALien and appear immune to HIS LOVE. It is acutely important, to remember, that NOW! Not tomorrow, Not Yesterday, but TODAY!!!!!!! Ask Jesus to tatoo that part, on your heart. So that when you encounter these individuals, draped in EVIL. YOu will SEE the child. Instead, of the FACE of the DARK.

When you were a kid, did you EVER practice walking in the dark? For now, I mean that, as a literal statement. Did you ever play, pin the tail on the donkey, or another game as a kid. ONE that requires, a blindfold? Though these games, were “fun”, I had trouble with them. I now know, that was because of other mitigating FACTORS. Ones, that have most definitiely, at times, complicated the MATH of my life. But God.

YOU know what I dreaded as a child? Come on, if you have followed, my journey, and our family one, you got some guesses… GIve up? Okay, it was being a MOmma. The biggest FEAR I ever had, was having children. Even just 1. It is so tough to admit this, not because I am ashamed, anymore. But, admitting it, is KEY to LOVING most FREE. I watched my own mother, hide and avoid, and fall so deep into dark places. And I remmeber thinking, if I can just get her out, then I will succeed. That was not a kids thought. And I am certain, that it was “peppered with pride.” But I tried, so hard to LOVE my momma. I will NEVER forget the day, she took her final flight. For years, it was such a DEEP memory, that it tormented me. It took ME to some horrific places. But God. On that day, I recall saying to JESUS…I am so sorry I failed you. Now, that is not even logical. Because, no matter what…GOD cannot fail, and we cannot FAIL HIM. WE can, appear to cause complications sometimes, but there is certain amounts of GRACE…To both create and undo, those same…entanglements. UP to a point…that Heaven chooses, that IS.

The wound, was so DEEEP back then. We Just passed 20 years, this year. Redemption. Have you EVER been, caught UP in who you are NOT? Feeling like, instead of the yuck, being like rubber, bouncing OFF, it is instead like GLUE? I heard this lyric today, referencing that. FRom one of my favorite bands, I heard Heaven speak. And the words that echoed, the most were, “Please forgive ME.” And Jesus said, “Can you forgive you?”

Can you recognize, and receive that there WAS GRACE present, for the choices made? ANd NOT Just yours, my LOVE. For EVERY choice that was made. Hidden, and revealed ones, there was GRACE. It is hard to fathom, that there is GRACE to choose anything other than Jesus. BUT Just look around…look past the yuck and evil. And SEE the GRACE. ANd if it LOOKS Blurry, just ask JESUS for His focus. Though, prepare yourself, because His focus, is a LOT to digest.

So here is something I pondered, because I was asked a question. Not sure, if I ever would have gone there, without the loving provocation? The question was, “Do you think YOU were afraid, of being a momma, because YOU already knew what would happen?” Oh the first time, I was asked that, it was so prickly. It was like being stung by nettles. I had to breathe deep, or I would have immediately answered in HASTE. I immediately felt offense, but I did not choose it. Thank God. I said, the ONLY answer I had. The only ONE that I could mutter. And, I am certain I mumbled. I said, “I don’t know.”

It has been a LONG time, since asked that question. I think, if I recall correctly, it was in the hospital. ON our first time in, when WE had NOTHING but TIME to Reflect, and search; this popped up. TODAY, I can without question or doubt, answer that question, with a confidnt. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was most definitely, partially awake TO the plans, and desires of Heaven. But, by the GRACE of GOD. I was far, from FULLLY AWAKE. And I am so grateful, that then I was NOT. Because, even though I was NOT….because of JESUS…I WAS.

Who are your days devoted to? Consider it. Are they devoted to a job, family members, activities, exercises? Do you find yourself saying… Such and such is my heart. I remember in my first, OBVIOUS momma experience, I thought often. Wow, SHE is the BEST part of me. That is logical right? But the CORE of TRUTH is, ME is not just ME. It is also Majestic Eternity. It does NOT just apply to my name. It applies to JESUS name. Often I would look at her, and SEE a mirror image of me. And ya’ll sometimes, that was BEYOND excruciating. Because of how I felt about ME. Sometimes, I could not….naturally embrace her. In essence, there were moments, where my own “hell” would conflict with the HEAVEN in her. She was the first beauty, that I ever knew, that HELL NEVER stuck to. I mean, I absolutely marveled at it. Every day, I said…”Did I ever have that?!?!” I asked God, if I did, what the Hell happened? Jesus said, A LOT. More than you NEED to know, for now. Let’s just say, GRACE kept you. Sometimes I could not even…TUNE into the answers clearly. Oh, again….but GOD. Sarah and JESUS, the coolest team in my portion, of Heavenville. And they are always UNITED, and there are MANY Team Members. JESUS is 100% CAPTAIN. KING. Sovereign.

Let’s talk about Grace. It has many definitions. The beauty and magnificense of GRACE is simple. Because of GRace, WE are able to “come as we are.” ONE aspect is “refinement of movement.” Another definition is “curteous goodwill.” Used as a verb, it means DO honor, or CREDIT to someone by one’s presence. So think about THIS, GOD LOves His kids, so much…THAT He gives Grace upon Grace upon GRace upon GRace. YOu talk about LOVE to infinity, and far beyond ALL atmospheres…THIS IS IT!

GRACE is perhaps known as the CONSUMING PASSION of the presence of GOD. Yeah, it is ultimate FAVOR. AND, it is SOW much MORE!!!! Yes, I spelled it that way, for a reason. 😉 In the LIFE book, the BIBLE… it says we reap what we sow. That means if WE sow Grace, WE will REAP it in return. Now, it may NOT come from the source we expect. However, WE will most definitely RECEIVE it! So BE it. In Jesus.

I want to close today, with this thought. I want you to close your eyes, and visualize, as many presents as you can think of. Now breathe, if you can handle visualizing tons and tons awesome. If you can only see 3, 5, 7, 10 etc… whererever and whatever the number pops up, as you close your eyes…. That number is significant. And I want to now say, that number of presents and PRESENCE is beyond infinite, in HEAVEN.

And again, contrary to “popular belief” It does not take LEAVING earth, to begin to open the presents. Well, at least not the way, most think. But it does unequivocally REQUIRE surrender. I once heard someone say, words I have said to a child. THe basis, of the admonishment that was said, is this. WE do not bless, to get blessings. And I found myself, saying… Yes, WE do, but not from a heart to control. Me do it, because it is WHO WE are. I can personally say, my heart is not to fix a blessing. The RACE we run, is not fixed. If it was, Jesus would not give US a will. However, by faith and Grace of GOD, He can HEAL it. Smiles.

Love ya’ll and want to say Thank you for LISTENING….

In His Grace,

E and Fam 🙂

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