Testing, Trying, and Terifying

This morning when I woke, I really sensed God with me. I know HE is close to the broken hearted. But, THIS was different. Ever since our baby girl went home, there has been a different connection to Heaven. Around 11 something, when I woke, I heard “The time of testing and trying is over for my faithful ones, and soon they shall reap the rewards.” Now, when God says soon, it could take a while to us usually. But, not this time. Not for HIS obedient COGS.

For those who do NOT know God, and refuse to try, you’re about to know HIM whether you like it or not. It is absolutely going to terrify you, and it will, no doubt be the last chance for some of you, to turn to HIM. God has watched, wept, and worked around the rebellious. But, NO LONGER will what was allowed go seemingly unnoticed.

I saw a vision today. It was the hand of God. It was awakening HIS “hidden warriors.” What that means is, the devil is about to PAY. People should not take vengeance, but believe me GOD will. The FEAR of the LORD will be restored. It will be restored NO matter what it takes. He will not sit idly by, while people laugh and make fun of people being brutally murdered. There is much that will come to light.

People will have to choose. Which GOD do you serve? Because, there can be absolutely NO FEAR in what is left behind that is of GOD. Not, in this season. So, I pray that the Heavenly Father, Lord and brother Jesus, and the Holy Spirit fill the children of GOD up. That we don’t just get bandged from this world. WE can be made whole through HIS LOVE. The well is open, of LIFE water. COME and drink of it.

Difficult things will come, or hey will feel difficult at first. But, for those who put ALL and I mean ALL their FAITH and TRUST in GOD, HEAVEN will unfold before your eyes. Are you willing to give UP what WAS so you can receive HEAVEN on EARTH. I know for me, it has NOT been easy. I dare to say for us. For our kids, and my husband, surrender has been like pulling knives out of our backs. One at a time, they have been pulled out by Jesus. Then, we have sat wit HIM as He poured out HIS LOVE.

WE will NOT choose pain, fear, anger, hurt, unforgiveness, or anything else to be our GOD. Because too many are affected if we do. WE don’t always get to see the fruit, but GOD does, in our lives. Thankfully, WE see it in the lives of many others. We repent daily for places we may have fallen or faltered. God then restores. It hurts like HELL. In some sense it feels like being brow beaten at first. But, it is so very well worth it.

Will you choose crucifixion? Because serving CHRIST means dying. It means dying to whatever degree we are called to. It is MOST people’s greatest fear, to die. But, there can be no resurrection without it. I sat and looked at our child, our Heavenly gift. I sat and looked at the shell of who she was, after the ” life breath” was gone. I sit now under the blanket she left behind. I thought, how powerless is LIFE, but how powerful is our GOD. In ALL my life, I have never been so TERRIFIED. Yet, never in my life have I experienced such beautiful PEACE, as GOD was very much there.

I say this, not to glorify DEATH. I say this to GLORIFY God. I realized, that WE won’t always feel PEACE, but we can have an ANCHOR of it. When it was time to take our Butterfly into the hospital, I did not feel consumed with peace. But, it was present. What I felt was desperate. I was so desperate for GOD to help. I was so desperate for HIM, WE were. The 3 muskateers, that looked to HIM for our every breath. I cannot remember how many times I said that. There we were, and we ALL were terrified.

But, HERE is what the peace was in that circumstance. It was that GOD has a plan, and so many times, I just don’t get it, and in my flesh just want to go home to Heaven. I’m not saying I want to die. I am saying, it is a longing, because this of this world’s intensity, to go home. I know our daughter felt this, even more than me. She did not speak of it. She had an assignment here. Though it feels like she did not finish. I know she did. I had a vision of her. In the vision, it was an open vision, she was talking to Jesus. It was shortly after all the natural occurrences happened. Those associated with leaving THIS world and traveling into the next.

Today, I share this. It is very difficult for me, but I had to obey. Jesus offered her a way home. A ride, if you will. She looked at HIM and said, “Brother Jesus, I can go now. Because, now they KNOW. I was sent here to teach them how to LOVE you and be LOVED by you and NOW they KNOW. Now, they KNOW and can be used by you to teach others.

This time of year, when most of the rest of the world celebrates holidays, I am learning to celebrate HOLY days. In fact, WE are as a family. There have been people, for various reasons who have believed that we celebrate the death of our child. WE absolutely ONLY celebrate LIFE. We celebrate NEW LIFE. We celebrate HOLY transition. WE forgive false accusations, and we speak peace, Heavenly LOVE, and blessings over all those who see themselves as enemies.


James 1:2-4 ESV / 65 helpful votes

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Hebrews 12:4-11 ESV / 15 helpful votes

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Genesis 22:1-24 ESV / 11 helpful votes

After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place from afar. Then Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey; I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you.”

1 Peter 1:10-12 ESV / 8 helpful votes

Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories. It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.

1 Corinthians 2:1-16 ESV / 8 helpful votes

And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

2 Corinthians 11:3 ESV / 6 helpful votes

But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

John 16:13 ESV / 6 helpful votes

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

Hebrews 9:27 ESV / 5 helpful votes

And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment,

2 Corinthians 4:2 ESV / 5 helpful votes

But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.

Psalm 90:2 ESV / 5 helpful votes

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

Romans 3:1-9:33 ESV / 4 helpful votes

Then what advantage has the Jew? Or what is the value of circumcision? Much in every way. To begin with, the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God. What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God? By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar, as it is written, “That you may be justified in your words, and prevail when you are judged.” But if our unrighteousness serves to show the righteousness of God, what shall we say? That God is unrighteous to inflict wrath on us? (I speak in a human way.)

John 4:24 ESV / 4 helpful votes

God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”

2 Timothy 3:16 ESV / 3 helpful votes

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

2 Corinthians 5:14 ESV / 3 helpful votes

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;

1 Corinthians 15:1-4 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures,

John 14:6 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Ezekiel 34:26-27 ESV / 3 helpful votes

And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing. And the trees of the field shall yield their fruit, and the earth shall yield its increase, and they shall be secure in their land. And they shall know that I am the Lord, when I break the bars of their yoke, and deliver them from the hand of those who enslaved them.

Jeremiah 3:1-25 ESV / 3 helpful votes

“If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another man’s wife, will he return to her? Would not that land be greatly polluted? You have played the whore with many lovers; and would you return to me? declares the Lord. Lift up your eyes to the bare heights, and see! Where have you not been ravished? By the waysides you have sat awaiting lovers like an Arab in the wilderness. You have polluted the land with your vile whoredom. Therefore the showers have been withheld, and the spring rain has not come; yet you have the forehead of a whore; you refuse to be ashamed. Have you not just now called to me, ‘My father, you are the friend of my youth— will he be angry forever, will he be indignant to the end?’ Behold, you have spoken, but you have done all the evil that you could.”

Job 1:13-22 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Now there was a day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, and there came a messenger to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them, and the Sabeans fell upon them and took them and struck down the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.” While he was yet speaking, there came another and said, “The Chaldeans formed three groups and made a raid on the camels and took them and struck down the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.”

Philippians 2:5-11 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name,

Luke 4:1-13 ESV / 2 helpful votes

And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing during those days. And when they were ended, he was hungry. The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” And Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone.’” And the devil took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time,

Exodus 3:14 ESV / 2 helpful votes

God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

I say this, because my HEART has got to be purified, and cleaned every day. If it is not, then things like hatred, pain, anger, bitterness, and other emotions, or spirits can have access. GOD does not want these things to control us. Do you know what He wants to feed our souls? It is HIS LOVE. IT comes in so many forms. IT comes through HIS word, as it washes us clean. IT comes through HIS kids. IT comes through HIM personally, when we have been purified to receive it.

What the ENEMY meant to harm you, GOD will use it for GLORY. IT will be used for HIS purpose, when it is surrendered to HIM. The enemy gets no victory in the life of Sarah Elizabeth Sharpe. He gets no victory in the lives of any of our children. I don’t know if it is considered a blessing or a curse sometimes. But, I often know when people are dying. I remember when God first told me about Sarah Elizabeth. I did not want to hear it. I ran from it for as long as I could. Until, I could NOT anymore. I did not keep this information secret on purpose. My natural self, really did NOT want to admit it. So, I didn’t until it admitted me. Meaning, when Sarah Beth got admitted, it was like ME getting admitted.

I have been in hospitals so many times. This time, WE could not let anyone come visit. It was disrespectful to GOD. It just had to be between HIM and her, and us. I’m not sure if my husband feels the same way as me. But, THIS time I felt, more than ever that every poke and prod, was ours. I don’t know if this makes any sense to anyone. I’m just sharing the story. WE died too. NOT in the exact same way, but yet, WE did. For various reasons, we did not sit with her 24/7. We had to TRUST God that HE would cover her. Because, David and I were just gone. I don’t know how we got through that 28 days. I know many were used to carry us in prayer. Thankful for that. To our family, and friends, we did NOT mean to hurt anyone by keeping people away. Please forgive us, if anyone felt disrespected or left out. WE had to obey GOD. That is who WE are.

We experienced HEAVEN and HELL at that time. But, HEAVEN far out weighed the HELL. It always does, when WE are willing to receive. WE got to hear her say, “Mommy, Daddy, I tried to come back, but I can’t. Because GOD needs me more. Forgive me.” So, today, I lay down my anger at her. It has been hidden in a place I did not know was there. I remember saying, “There is nothing to forgive.” But, there was. ALL the light that was there, went DARK that day. It was like a blackout. Yet, when we experienced HEAVEN, it was like a POWER SURGE.

I have always known, that receiving more of Heaven, meant surrendering what was. But, there was this piece of her in my heart. I treasured it. I did not keep it above God. It was right underneath HIM, in HIS arms. Today, I release that piece to receive more of HIS peace. Because, I cannot, even for a second, make even THIS about me. I mean, it is in a sense, but not in a sense. What it is about, is the LOVE of GOD. It is about God loving the world to bring us JESUS. IT is about God gifting us this beautiful angel, in human form. Why? Because, WE had missed out on what WE needed. Was it anyone’s fault? That is hard to say. But, what I do know is GOD will bring you HEAVEN if YOU are willing to receive it.

The hard part if YOU have to give up what you think is Heaven already? I hope this ministers to someone. Perhaps God had me be used to write it, to heal ME. To Heal, David, to heal the kids, to heal our family, that could be. But, whatever the reason, I was called as a vessel to share this story. For those who don’t think GOD is real, please just give HIM a chance. The alternative, no matter how fun it seems, is not worth it.


I have tried it ALL, and nothing works but RESTING in the ARMS of JESUS. Nothing. Enjoy Heaven baby girl, I know HE will lead you to GLORIOUS heights. I’m sure WE will continue to see you, amongst the clouds and storms. Thank you JESUS, for keeping safe forever this priceless gift. Thank you God for the testing, trying, and terrifying LIFE you give and gave. WE choose you again, this day. 71585_10150129666772785_557140_n 73441_10150129669597785_5402919_n 1913687_257152002784_2708580_n 1913687_257152152784_2756129_n 1913687_257680827784_2794361_n

In His Grace,

E and Fam

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