Yearly Archives: 2017

My Wall

Today, was glancing at a film, that was on Hallmark. And you will recall, if you have ever watched, a fil on this chanel, that it is ALL about Love.  It was shown to me, that LOVE is at it’s VERY core about acceptance. IF WE do NOT accept in FULL, the LOVE and everything that goes with it, WE reject in FULL, not part, JESUS. Now, to be clear, this is the LOVE of Heaven. THAT is NOT about religion, striving, or even surviving. It IS about one thing, and ONE thing ONLY. Jesus.

When you are rejecting Jesus, you choose every prison imaginable. BUT WHEN YOU accept HIM, you are FREE. NOTHING can bind YOU, when you say YES to, the unadultarated, LOVE of HEAVEN.

15 Jun 2017

Heavenly Fugue

This weekend, I watched a show called “Saving Hope.” It is the last season, and I kind of stumbled upon it one day. The episode this week, was called ” Doctor Robot.” There’s a few things significant, about it, to me. Most doctors, who train to be doctors, are about precision, control, and logic. It’s how their books are written. In the aforementioned episode, this man, who had lost a child, suddenly became funny. One of the doctors, had a gut feeling, that it might not just be a “normal” development.

This doctor, on the show, reminds me of my husband. Because, he has this ability to see so deeply, and yet is often afraid of the affects, of speaking about it. In the show, the man was informed, there was in fact something, wrong, and he needed immediate surgery, or he would die. At first, he said no. He was afraid, that the surgery would take away the “joy.” But the truth is, when it’s real, and not just an avoidance tactic, or something else; nothing can take away joy. He eventually complied, and the doctor helped him to see the truth.

Personally, I have made a commitment to God. That no matter what, even if I have no words, my heart will praise HIM. That everything I have, am given, and desire, is HIS alone. I don’t know how long, my days on earth will be. It’s hard for me to SEE that God has used me, to make a difference. Because, quite frankly, that vision is blurred. In complete truth, I just want the pain to end, the healing and mending to be finished. I want to be able to LIVE as intended. I don’t know for certain how, where or when that will Be. But, without a doubt, Jesus has never let me down. Not ever. Despite, how it seems or feels. His will, and way must happen, and what it takes to get there, is just tough to watch at times.

 

Lyrics

I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not
So

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store

So, thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord

https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tf6pb77mhmnr3rqrxepf6wbml3m?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics

  • 3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”
  • Matthew 6:14-15

    14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
  • 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
  • 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
  • 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
  • 3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”
  • 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

In His Imminent Grace,

E

 

05 Jun 2017

My Wonderland…Heaven

Fact. I live IN this world, but I’m NOT of this world. More often than not sometimes, I keep my mouth shut. Not because I’m afraid, but, more because, I’m learning, to speak, when HE moves me. I woke today at 4, on the 4h, of the month of Grace. Yes, and I didn’t wake, feeling happy happy joy joy, yet I did. I woke, and took my ear plugs out, and heard he birds singing. I heard a phone ring. And I thought, Jesus is calling. “Oh come to the altar, the Father’s arms, are open wide. Redemption, and freedom, the precious blood of Jesus Christ.”

Only Jesus Himself, understands everything. When vile things, attempt to bring Chaos, He is the ONLY one, who can step in, and set things aright. If WE try to fix people, we miss the point. Without LOVe, “we are a clanging symbol.” His LOVE is Mercy, and HE is LOVE. I don’t know, how long, it will take or be, here. And at the very center, I am okay with that. In the beginning of the journey, I would pray to go home. But, now, I know Jesus IS my home. And despite, how it feels, that there is purpose, in ALL things.

I hope someday, that people begin to see, that death is not what it is portrayed to be, by most. This world, is full of so much hurt. But, Jesus’s world, is the freedom, to be able to SEE clearly. When God says, NO, then it means NO. And, there are times, where that is happening, and many are ignoring His guidance. Some, are trying to convince themselves, and others, that they are doing what God wants. But, only He truly knows.

Jesus is not a God of guilt and condemnation. He is a God of Love and adoration. I woke up, and so much, in so many ways, have wanted to go back to sleep again. I think, THIS must have been, how HE felt, and sometimes, she felt. Because, for those of you, who do read this, you know our youngest little angel, is now with Jesus. I suppose, in some ways, she was, and yet never WAS. Love is about acceptance. It is about Jesus, tearing down road blocks.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8Amplified Bible (AMP)

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away.

04 May 2017

Bathing in the FIRE

Somedays, can’t even recall the date, or day. And thank GOD, it does not matter. The things that mattered before, both do and just DON’T, in the same way. I LOVE baths. Do you??? They have always been a time of reflection, healing, and REST, in my life. As a kid, they were also a place of GREAT JOY!!!!!

Now, I can’t handle them, in the same way. I cannot stay for HOURS in the water, because, I am at times, painfully just aware of the effect, on my physical body. And, there was a time, I would have thought, I had failed. But, NOW I understand, THAT being “sick” as this world calls it, is okay. Let me be clear, I am not saying I believe that Bad, has taken roots. But, I finally recognize, that being different, is not a terrible thing. AND, that suffering is NOT, nor will ever be a life sentence prison, in the way it WAS before.

Because, now LOVE is what leads me. I think it always was, in a sense. BUT, it was clouded by pain. AND how, HIS Love just remains everywhere is mind boggling. THAT I get to participate, is as well. I have gone through seasons of great trial, torment and at times, it feels and has felt, like just torture. BUT, the one thing that remains is LOVE. His name, Jesus.

I thought this entry was going to be about a film, I just saw. And it IS, in a way. 😉 On the 11th, I saw the movie, “The Shack.” I will likely be referring to this film, a great deal. I began to read the book years ago, but I never finished it, all the way through. The movie, was and IS such a gift from Heaven.

It will take a few entrys to complete what has been shared, about this amazing piece of just Heaven given LOVE. But, let’s start with THIS part. “Religion is to much work. I don’t want slaves, I want friends.” That is a quote from the film. It truly touched ME to the core.

I encourage YOU, to take a moment, and see it. Very worth your time. Will write more soon. 🙂

13 Mar 2017

Protective Measures

Long ago, in what sure feels like, a galaxy far far away, I watched my first movie. I can’t recall exactly what it was. Maybe, it was Superman, Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz. But, I remember my reaction, was such wonder. It was a place, where I could find Heaven. I loved television, plays, books, music, and anything, that was expressive.

Within the confinement of creativity, even dark stuff, Jesus found me, and I fell in LOVE. But, don’t get me wrong, The Love affair, was not without challenges. But, somehow there were always protective measures, put in place to bring me to safety. Did they always feel good, nope. In Jerry McGuire, he has a line, “We live in a Cynical World, a Cynical World. I remember thinking, the world around me is, but my world is Jesus Land. It does not belong TO ME, but I am always a resident.

We are told to be “alien” of the world, by God. And, that WE actually ARE peculiar. In all my journey here, I can finally say, I am A Okay with that. Well, most days anyway. 😉 I just want to say, I’m very glad that Jesus loves everyone the same. Because, I don’t know about you, but i FULLY rely on His protective measures, that He has for living. 🙂

03 Mar 2017

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